Wednesday, September 13, 2006

PD and Crash painting houses…. Actually we weren’t doing most of the painting. Another side business of the Gangster is low rent real estate. Yea, he basically buys crack houses or just really, really run down properties and then puts minimal work into them and turns them around or turns them into rental properties. The beauty of this little gig is that all the fixing up he does is actually done by an army of what we will call

“The unemployables.”

They’re basically guys that the gangster has met along the way and they generally have no desire to be in society. They haven’t had a social security number in years. They often times will have no place to live and only the shirts on their backs. The Gangster will put them up in one of his REALLY bad rental rooms, often two or three guys to a house. He calls them when he buys a house or needs some manual labor. They come in and bust ass for the guy. He pays them cash money, as little as possible. (They drink it or smoke it the same day he pays them so what’s the point of paying them a lot.) A lot of these guys have great nick names. For instance

2 carb, Know for his ability to build a two carburetor bong for smoking pot out of any piece of trash you give him.

Smiley, The guy got electrocuted by like 10 million watts a few years back and smiles from ear to ear constantly.

Pin Head, Has an abnormal liking for piercing on his face. Last count was like 9 but I try not to notice. He really is not a good guy to have around but the guy knows more about plumbing than anyone and is often called on to repair the properties.

Chico, is a 5 foot Mexican happy go lucky guy that never says anything but “Cervesa” I really don’t think Chico is his real name but I sure as hell haven’t ever seen a drivers license.

Norm, Looks like norm McDonald. He’s about 60 years old and rumor has it he used to be in the insurance business with a wife and two kids but decided one day to drop out of society and hasn’t returned. He works VERY slow but is actually pleasant to talk to if he’s sober. Which is only if we’ve had him under a watchful eye all day. He sometimes works valet jobs for us if we can’t find anyone else. He parks one car for every 6 that the younger college kids do.

In any event, The gangster called his guy at the paint store and lined up all the gallons of the paint the neighbor wanted, He also has a the guy putting together all the things we might need. Drop cloths, brushes, rollers, etc. Then he starts calling the army of unemployables. PD and I are sort of in charge of this band of mis-fits. We also jumped in and did most of the easy work. So 4 hours after The Gangster threatened the painter he has 8 guys on this particular job. The Pumpkin paint is being covered and the whole front of the house looks like a construction site with scaffolding and everything. The Gangster is making sure he’s out in front of his place looking very foreman like at 5pm when most of the other neighbors are coming home so they know he saved the garden party.
Which truly he did. We finished the house at about 3pm. The party started at 5. I don’t mind telling you the house looked pretty dam good. The gangster never let the lady pay for any of it. I know the paint wasn’t cheap but he looked at it like an insurance policy. Let’s face it will be prom season sooner or later and at 3am some weekend soon we’ll be waking up all the neighbors bring home the limo’s.

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